Coaching can be a messy business, if done right.
Most people don’t hire a coach because they lack talent or potential. Most people hire a coach because there’s a gap between who they are, at their core, and how they’re performing in their lives.
This Potential to Performance Gap ™ often creates cognitive dissonance; a clinical term that means, in essence, that two conflicting beliefs are attempting to harmoniously live in the same person. This is not workable.
Herein lies the messiness of being coached: It has incalculable ups and downs, and all parties must be willing to withstand both extremes. No apologies.
Having coached hundreds of people over the past twenty-five years, I’ve “seen it all” as it were, and the one question I’m most frequently asked when interviewing a prospective client is this one:
“What do your most successful clients do to achieve their coaching goals?”
Here’s my answer for those of you who want to have a hugely successful coaching experience:
1. KNOW YOUR LIFE PURPOSE:
Everyone has a life purpose, a mega message for their lives. It’s the “why” behind everything you do—the driving force of every thought, action and feeling you have.
Knowing your life purpose gives more meaning and drive to everything you do. Furthermore, it increases your impact, while making your life more efficient and productive. Not believing you have a purpose doesn’t mean you don’t have one, it just means you’ll meander a bit more than is necessary.
Every successful person has a life theme; the sooner you know what it is, the more readily you’ll be able to align every area of your life around it for optimal impact.
2. OWN YOUR GOALS:
This is a snarly chore: your goals must be yours.
Your goals must come from your heart, your soul, your life purpose. They cannot be goals that anyone else has chosen for you—not your mom, dad, minister, third grade teacher, manager, partner, etc.
If you work toward goals that don’t authentically belong to you, you probably won’t reach them and, if by chance you do, you’ll still be dissatisfied, unfulfilled and cognitively dissonant.
3. GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE:
You know what you know. You know what you don’t know but…. (drum roll)… you don’t know what you don’t know.
That’s where your coach comes in. The right coach for you will help you identify your blind spots. The right coach for you will help you to see the various ways in which staying in your comfort zone has made you remarkably uncomfortable.
The right coach for you will help you develop a Growth Mindset which will insure that you create your future independent of your past.
4. HAVE INTEGRITY:
Do what your coach tells you to do, no matter what. Do it when you’re asked to do it, in the very best way possible.
Keep your word. Be on time. Excel in your assignments. Take the next step—the one that wasn’t asked of you –but that you know is future currency.
5. BE 100% COMMITTED:
You don’t get to stop at mile 24 if you’ve committed to completing the marathon. If you chose to lose 32 pounds, then you don’t get to quit when you’ve lost 29. You don’t get to do ‘most’ of your homework or show up for all but one coaching call.
6. TAKE ACTION:
It is extremely rare that someone drops out of my coaching program.
The reason? I vet my prospective clients very carefully. If I don’t sense, in my gut, that you’ll be willing to put down the excuses and pick up the actions, then I’ll simply refuse to work with you.
No, it’s not harsh, it’s compassionate. The last thing anyone needs is another so-called ‘failure’ under their belt– not when I can read that writing on the wall.
The single difference between those who excel at their goals, and those who fail is the latter takes action, and the former make excuses.
Yup. It’s that simple.
Success in coaching is not an accident; it doesn’t just ‘happen’ to you or your coach. It’s strategic. It’s deliberate. It’s purposeful. Period. And, yes, you can do this!
So tell us by commenting below…
- What was the single most significant thing you did to succeed in reaching your coaching goals?
- What could you have done differently (no making yourself wrong, please)?
- What was your biggest surprise when you got into coaching?
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